time, time, time; is it really on your side ?

i'm writing my biography with movie quotes and awkward pauses.
my muscles are weak and my bones are fragile.
the hair on my neck does nothing but stand tall.
my eyes grow wide with the thought of it all.
nails on a chalkboard like the thorns in my sides.
pins and needles, sunburned skin tears.
what morbid thoughts cross my mind,
things that can only be expressed with time.
little pieces of paper fall to the ground like snow.
the young girls cry due to their inside's goodbyes.
what i can never explain is all i tell,
perhaps, the way i see you is how you smell.
the faint touch on my back is how i hear.
oh and i taste you with all of the words you write.
time is an friend in this instance, not a foe.
keep running with me now or you'll fall below.
i'll trample you with all that i do.
teeth grind as tears fall into the sands of time.
all i wanted was just one moment back.
i can't erase that tiny, selfish fact.

blind boys don't lie

can you please tell me how to feel ?
do you care to show me what is real ?
i dont know if i can even tell anymore.
what have i done to deserve what you have given me ?
am i really my own worst enemy ?
i'm keeping my eyes peeled.

take me home

night and day,
black and white,
you're a total oposite depending on who.
it's the good and bad,
wrong and right,
i don't know what i can do.
to coax you into my little plan would backfire on me,
because she has got you wrapped around her finger, you see.
the way you speak when you say my name,
i want you to keep me out of your mouth.
to listen to your voice is like listening to Osiris sing,
all you're doing is letting poison out.
Onan's seed in which he spilled is your life story.
everyone's perception of you is flawed,
you're name is going bad in a hurry.
you won't amount to anything more than i had ever hoped,
go back to where you came from, i'm tired of being prodded and poked.
the stinging of your touch on my arm makes me want to scream.
i dont know who you are anymore as funny as that seems.
double sided like all stories go,
there's one big high and the rest are all just lows.

they won't let me turn around

im running in circles; the air is so thick.
i don't know what to do anymore,
i hope this change doesn't stick.
i cannot get used to this hurt and suffering.
i don't know what do to in this world i'm living in.
everytime i hear something about you,
i cringe and think about the old days.
i can't fathom how you've gotten to be this way.
is there ayone out there that can help you ?
think, think this through.
there's got to be more to this and there's got to be something new.
i dont think that you can deny me anymore,
i'm giving you my all and i don't think i have anymore.
i love you, i love you more than anything;
i'll protect you like my own,
just don't force me to put you out there all alone.

push me into the sea

liar, liar, you've got something you're hidding,
hidding, that you dont want me to know about.
is it a secret from before we first met ?
is it a secret fantasy you made up in your head ?
why can't you just reveal everything that's on your mind ?
i know you dont think that i have the time
for such games, for such foolishness, but honestly, baby,
all i have ever done was care about you.
the jealousy of your friends,
your stories and their loose ends,
my fraile and twisted mind just can't help to combine your words.
your words, in my thoughts, twist into every little thing you've ever thought.
i dont know what to say to you now,
i have a different opinion of you somehow.
why couldn't you have just come out and said it ?
well, fine; it's over and i've hope you read this.

this obsession

i could swear that i have seen your face before,
the look in your eyes is just a little more
than normal; you seem like someone i'd want to get to know.
it never occured to me what could happen,
if i let you in for one night and
i never thought for once that i'd get hurt;
i didn't think about it first.
i just wanted to get to know you,
well, i think i know you a little too well.
it was really nice to meet you,
i do have to admit.
i'd like to see you again, i really do,
but i can't take the emotions you put me through.
for god sake, i barely even know you,
just hurry up and we'll get through this fast,
i need a fix and i need to make it last.
scratch everything that i just said,
i love you and dont JUST want to give you head.
ahahahaha.

i wrote the last part because it ryhmed and it ruins the entire thing, but i just can't find it in myself to erase it.

everything you ever told me was a lie

i love you; i can't live without you.
you're so amazing; you're all i've ever wanted.
if i'm all you've ever wanted, why did you need her so badly ?
don't even question if you were my last because you were,
you were the first one, and i can't ever let that go.
the pain behind my eyes and voice, can you hear me choke ?
i can't even say i love you, because i know you don't love me back.
i'm all over the place with scattered thoughts,
i can't breathe or think.
you're all i'll ever want.

makes no sense; i just needed to get thoughts out.

is it too soon to say perfect ?

in everyone's opinion, you're not right for me.
but in my opinion, you're quite perfect, you see.
i love the way you talk to me and play with hair,
the way your fingers touch my skin makes all of my friends stare.
i dont know what is is about you that makes me want you so much,
i think about you night a day and imagine your soft touch.
everytime i'm with you, everything in the world is alright,
you could hate me, but the second someone hurts me you're ready to fight.
there's something in your eyes that alway catches me stare,
you told me you love the little things, like the gleam of light in my hair.
it's all i want, you see, all i've ever wanted for me,
someone to love me the way that you do.
keep me in line and love me just like you.
you're perfect,
just perfect.

o.O

you don't even care about me,
or maybe that's how i want it.
that would probably be the best way to do this.
meaningless and good,
is that really how i want it ?
there are risks, but at this point,
i think i'm willing to take them.
i want this, i want this so bad,
but is this all worth it ?
for one night everything will be impulsive and great,
and for the rest of our lives it will be awkward and terrible ?
i think i still want it.
why am i doing this to myself ?
well, when the time comes,
my last minute judgement will just have to take over...